"Sense of Purpose"
The key to day to day living for humans is to feel "needed" and without it, we truly wither away and die without it. We seek love and approval from parents, spouses, children and friends. When they disappear from our lives most of us equate that with worth or lack of worth more accurately. We become reclusive, unresponsive, depressed and begin to wither like untended flowers.
So the babylonian invent dating sites for the insecure and the gullible who believe the answer lies in the arms of a partner who does similar things, hobbies, interests etc., and THAT will cure loneliness and fill that missing void! I'm pretty sure those do not work as I have friends (male and female) who use those sites for easy, 'safe' sex and have found another route for promiscuity. I'm also fully aware some actually believe that they will find their 'soul mates'. The fact is, we are looking! We are looking because 'lonely' has somehow become a crime. You are a loser because you are single and can't find someone.
I've always felt that slamming our bodies and psyches together are recipes for constant disasters and low and behold, it is certainly true.
On the other side of the fence we have the Spiritualists' who feed us God to aid with our 'aloneness'! With Him, through Him there is no need for the flesh or earthly love and that is a truth for me and many others yet as humans we still seek that body warmth that the Celestial One does not provide for us yet He provides strength in the absence of human touch. Being aware that we are 'alone' or more accurately, without a partner, creates opportunity for growth and development within the spirit, soul as well as intellect and one's personal journey can be greatly enhanced through His wisdom and guidance.
We are fed 'co-dependence'! Money, partner, God, leads to a sense of purpose, a sense of self worth, in anyone's life then we equate that to happiness.
Does it mean that elusive "happiness" thing can't happen without someone's aid? That feels like the message that I have been fed for a while now.
I have been in love in my past and it is a beautiful thing! When one is "in love" the whole world smiles! Every day is sunshine, even when it rains and snows! It is a blessing to have lived it as I truly ovastand how fleeting it is as most of my friends and acquaintances say that they have never had it. They say that they have never been in love!
"It is better to have loved and lost it, than to never know love at all" or something like that. I am grateful to have had it!
I ended up losing that love and hit a level of 'sad' that I never knew existed! I hit that kind of 'sad' where the whole world went dark! The one where you are curled up on the floor with searing pain through your stomach, heart, chest and back and you are screaming and no sound comes out. You finally have a bit of relief and climb over to your bed, lie on your pillow and realize that you are soaked in cold sweat yet there is some relief from the physical pain. You know that the pain is from love lost but for the first time it manifests itself physically!
You go through the hate the ex-spouse stage, then hate-the-opposite-sex-stage, even though you keep dating, then realize that your patience level for 'them' is limited to nonexistent, then you realize in time that you are no longer capable of maintaining or sustaining a relationship with any partner because you don't want anyone in your space!
'Lonely' and alone becomes your friend! They are the two things that you are completely sure of!
You realize that it is also the best place to be! You truly comprehend that even within a strong loving relationship, in order to maintain one's individuality, a sense of self is imperative and that reminds you that you are always alone, even together. And so, even without a spouse / partner, 'happy' is still a viable option, because 'LIFE' goes on!
Life is the greatest blessing that there is! Looking up at the moon and the stars, the ability to walk, see, taste food, feel the warm sun on your skin, a baby's cry, a friends smile, walking in the rain, kissing a parent on the cheek, snuggling with your children and millions of things that we take for granted are all LIFE!
The pain of divorce and losing your love is also life and a true blessing! You look back at your 'in love' time with the biggest, warmest smiles possible and the pain reminds you of how awesome it truly was. Without that deep, bitter, horrible pain one does not truly apprecilove how beautiful and powerful the 'in love' truly was and how grateful we need to be to at least have lived it!
Yeah yeah, I know! We wanted it to last forever like it does in Disney movies and in real world it rarely does yet it is so rare, many have never experienced it and those of us that did, truly have a point of reference. When the bitter goes away, you also realize that the 'love' is always there and will be there forever.
The knowledge of that love being 'forever' was the source of my pain initially. The reasoning is that if the love is forever, so is the pain, so is the sadness!
So not true cry baby breath!
The love remains and you remember many past moments with a huge smile and loads of tenderness. That should be a positive to any person's existence. You remember and smile with the love you shared then and apprecilove that the ex today may not be the face or the person that you loved back in the day but never let bitterness stop that love as it is truly a blessing! It is LIFE!
You haven't "grown up" till your guts have been ripped up and ripped out! Then through some gift of a coping mechanism you realize that it is all LIFE!
Don't miss it! Don't miss out! Pain and alone are still life and deserve us recognizing that and having a grateful existence because of it!
Gratefulness for whatever we have been given is a healing that is unimaginable! When one appreciloves one's life that is as unique as our finger prints, we are truly elevated! Wishing for a larger or smaller breasts, Larger or smaller house, larger or smaller genitals as a man, taller, more muscular, thinner waist, more money in the bank account, an expensive 'status' vehicle, able to vacation or never, wishing for all or some and green with envy when others have or achieve these things is not living life.
Contentment with one's life and existence comes from the reality that this is the LIFE you have and how grateful you should be for LIFE!
Find and apprecilove your sense of purpose! Don't wait for anyone to tell you what it is. Don't let anyone define you or define your life or your existence. Don't allow the babylonian to insist that 'alone' is wrong and that you 'need' a mate. I do admit to the blessing that it is to be with a loving partner that makes your soul smile, yet also be proud and grateful with the LIFE you live and the blessing that it is to have it!
It sounds kinda scary yet being responsible for self and knowing it is true strength and liberation because you are prepared for all that life has to offer, including how to get back up, each and every time allows for a truly grateful existence and a loving life!
What is most scary is that there is no one but ourselves to help or to change your situation. The fact that left to 'self', we choose the same shitty relationships, or make the same dumb ass choices in jobs or life in general. So then who do we trust when we don't / can't trust ourselves?
"The truth shall set you free!". Yes sir! That's tha ticket! The reason that we make all of the wrong choices for years is because we are full of shit! We lie to ourselves and tell ourselves the crap we need to hear in order to falsely boost our confidence.
Truth! What an amazing thing!
Admit your flaws. Admit that you are full of shit! Admit that you are vain with a huge ego! Admit that you are selfish! Admit that you are really attractive and you know it! Admit that you aren’t as cute as you try to act! Admit you aint that smart! Admit that other people’s opinions affect how you think, speak, dress, train, eat or career choice / s!
Admit YOU to yourself and accept the non perfect being that you are and love it anyway.
Every day is a struggle for more folks than you know yet they can’t / won’t admit it because they feel that they are just barely hanging on and an admission of weakness will bring down the house of cards. Well, sometimes, it will! Then you get that chance to get back up. Each time you get back up, the more powerful you become, like the Phoenix rising from the ashes of a burning flame.
Yet the more truth you add to your life the more your sense of purpose will grow.